Everything is Going to be Just Fine

There is a place for me to live! I've just made a six month commitment to live in a townhouse off Montana Avenue and 17th Street! For my Florida friends, think Las Olas. For my New Orleans folks, think the Garden District. And my Virginia people, think Rugby Road. This is the vicinity I'm focused on. My cottage has not manifested yet, but it occurs to me that first one must know what one wants- see it, feel it, know it- and then one must let it go. I am doing everything I can to make it happen and when the time is right, I'm confident that it will.

"The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real."
~Marge Piercy

According to my plans, I also began working this week. "Hit the ground running!" This is a major coup for which I am immensely grateful. My first client is an Intuitive Consultant (www.LinMorel.com and BeyondWordsGroup.com) is who ready to take-off. And just this afternoon I met with a second potential client, an Entrepreneur, ready to sky-rocket. I'm in the game.

So here I am

Sunday. I am emotional. I'm not worried, but I am feeling a tad scared or some sort of upset that I don't quite understand. The entire last month passed with such momentum in the process of untangling myself from Virginia and getting myself to California. "I'm here, now what?" is going through my mind.  But, even as I write, I know that I am being unreasonable with myself.  I just got here for Pete's sake!  There is a vague feeling of my body and my spirit not quite being united.... as though I am trying to catch up with myself. It is queer. This morning I went to the Pacific Pallisades Park flanking Ocean Avenue. As I looked towards the mountains of Malibu, disbelief filled me. I'm here, I'm really here. How did I manifest this all so quickly? I felt called to be here, I came, now what?! I know with certainty that I am where I need to be, but this is a bit disconcerting and scary. I only saw a vision of what it would take to get here and then I saw a vision of myself working in the Professional Growth realm and then becoming a wife and mother. But the in-between ground is a bit fuzzy. This has all been such a momentous event in my life, I suppose I should simply give thanks for my success and safe passage across the country, and continue to believe that it will all work itself out. And though I've had two nights of very restful sleep, my body and mind continues to feel a bit weary. What now? May I be led in the direction of prosperity.

Day Light Savings Time

It's Sunday. We've just changed time again- springing forward. I hate this. I want my hour back! I've had enough time change for the moment.

Hit the Ground Running, or at least try

It is Saturday morning, a clear blue-skied day in Southern California! As though I never left, I'm jumping right back into my life in Santa Monica. Today's endeavors: 9:30 yoga class at Shakti Yoga, a walk through the Santa Monica Farmer's Market, and an al fresco breakfast at Rocken Wagner Bakery on Wilshire. Then, my quest for a home! Here I go.

I'm driving around looking for "For Rent" signs and a place to live. My parameters are to be bewteen San Vicente, Wilshire, Ocean Ave. and 23rd. Following my new rule of life- Go directly to what you want, I drive by the cottage that I've been visualizing myself living in for well over a year. Just North of Montana Avenue, off of Ocean Avenue, there is a little wee community of cottages laid out in a "U" shape. They are small and quaint, and look as though Snow White lives there. That is where I want to live. I know the address of the unit in which I'd like to reside. I've thought about it, written about it, told my friends about it. Let's see if I can manifest it.

My dearest and most long-standing friend, Jessica, has just made her daily check-in call with me. Thank God for Jess. She encourages me and rallies me continually, always reminding me of my previous accomplishments lest I forget. So were were just chuckling about me driving around with all of my possessions in tow, when Jess offered that I'm like a camel, with belongings piled on. "We should just call you 'Camel Melanie', no wait! Just 'Cam-Mel', Camel!" Call me a camel, woman who travels with all of her most cherished possessions from here to there and everywhere.

3:00PM I am exhausted. I'm too tired to create. Too tired to drive around looking for a place to live. Sleep, I need sleep. I'm actually having a difficult time realizing that I'm really here. It's as though my body is here, but my consciousness is still on the journey.   It's so surreal. I just drove across America and now I'm here. I think I just felt my knees buckle. It is almost unbelievable that I am here.

With Each Beginning There is an Ending

Friday morning, 6:00 AM, I am departing, where am I? Oh, yes, I'm in Flagstaff, Arizona. I don't even know anymore, I've been so many places. No rushing this morning because my body woke-up at 4:30 AM, which coincidentally would be 6:30 East Coast time, and right on time. Strangely, I felt no need to rush this morning. I actually feel a little bit of trepidation because today is the day I drive on into L.A. and I don't know where I'm living. My friend Robert has graciously offered to let me stay with him, which is great. I have a place to land. But I'm not really excited about that because I would like to be in my own place, taking my stuff out of my car. There are so many unknown variables. I'm not quite sure now that I'm getting there, what my life actually going to look like on a day to day basis. So, um, I'm not real anxious to be rushing in that direction. The journey has been fun, and now I'll have to actually go and live it out, which I'm confident is going to be okay, but I'm still a little bit nervous.

In an effort to be proactive, I've reposted my posts on Craig's List to advertise myself for Housesitting and the other I've posted under seeking housing- "Visualizing a cottage in Santa Monica."

It's 9:15 am and I've just crossed over the California state line. How do I feel? I feel a little weak, a little bit frightened. There's no turning back, not that I want to turn back. I feel confident in my decision to move, but man, I wonder what's going to happen next?

How fascinating.... An inspection station to get into the state of California?! I've not encountered an Inspection Station to pass into any other state in the nation. I pull up, this is the exchange, "Good morning Maam. Where are you traveling from? Any fruits, vegetables or plants with you?" "No? Have a good day." And I'm ushered through. Whoopee! California, here I come.

10:30 AM. Wow, Premium gas is $3.19 per gallon, now that I've entered California.

I am driving towards snow-capped mountains. It is so beautiful and expansive and exciting. I love this land. I feel like I am home. It is 11:00 AM, I'm about thirty minutes East of San Bernandino, CA. I should be arriving in less than two hours into L.A. I had no idea that the mountains of San Bernadino were drop-dead gorgeous! It's killing me that I have to focus on the road and not look around. They are stunning and sculpturally appealing, and verdant green. These mountains are inspiring.

12:20 PM, Pacific Coast time. I did it! I'm back in Santa Monica, as though I never left. It has been less than a month since my visit back here to see if this felt like the right place for me. I'm blown away. I'm absolutely blown away! Just like that I'm right back in the fold. Amen. I am home. I give thanks for my safe passage.

Melanie, Warrior Princess. Conquering fear & worry every step of her journey, banishing the illusion of safety, being fully present and alive in each moment. I just drove across America and I feel like I can do ANYTHING!

Walnut Canyon Hike

I'm 110 miles East of Walnut Canyon Park, just outside of Flagstaff, Arizona. It is 9:15 AM and I'm traveling I-40 West, flanked on both sides by endless desert. It is so vast, my eyes can see no end. It is as though I'm surrounded by an ocean. My spirit is soaring as the eagle and I feel exalted. I love this "in-between land" and this "in-between time." I'm in between my past and my future; it is exhilarating and exciting to step out of the procession of ants. Do you ever look around at humanity and think we all look like the industrious ants, coming and going and focused on our tasks? I do. But for now, I am one with the world. For the moment, I am not part of a community or a workforce; I've stepped out of the parameters of my tribe. I am a traveler with wanderlust in my heart, filled with possibility, wonder and potentiality. It is thrilling, refreshing and a welcome change for my mind's eye. It is so fantastic to step outside of your life for a moment and be filled with the feeling that anything can happen next. I'm out there, in the neutral, in-between zone. And I like it.

11:00 AM. I've arrived at Walnut Canyon for my field trip! A hike through the Canyon!

Well, there was a landslide in 2007, so the hike was not as substantial as I would have liked; part of the trail was impassible. But it was a grounding and inspiring hike. The Sinagua people lived in this Canyon prior to 1250. They built homes within the cliff over hangings, which ironically makes them look a bit like town homes. Archeologists believe it was the women who built the homes. To form wall around the hollowed spaces, the Sinagua gathered limestone rocks, then cemented them with the clay found in surrounding canyon areas. They used wooden beams to reinforce the doorways. Even more impressive was a hole in the exterior wall, three feet above the doorway, which allowed smoke from interior woods fires to be released. And this was all done almost 800 years ago. It was truly fascinating and inspiring.

It is 12:45 PM, Central time and I've just landed in Flagstaff, Arizona. Windy. It is incredibly windy here and 55 degrees, which feels colder on account of the wind. Unfortunately, I am finding that the further West I travel, the more gas costs. Because the White Knight gets Premium gas, I'm up to $2.44 per gallon now. I think Premium gas was $2.02 back East. Interesting. Right now I am on my way to Macy's Cafe, serving Vegetarian fare in Downtown, Historic Flag. The last time I was here was January 15, 2008, when I surely thought I would die; that was the beginning of my divorce and journey back East. It was the onset of MY journey back to myself. At the time I felt I was at death's door, my life force was dangerously dimmed. And now, here I am, back again, coming out victorious. Amen.

You know, this is my third trip across America in less than two years. The first two times I was escorted by men; first by a former husband, the second by a friend. And now for this third time, I'm going solo. And this third time has been the most enjoyable trip thus far! I haven't been fearful once. It's been pleasant and enjoyable. My body is not in pain because I drive what is manageable for me each day. It just goes to show you, when you pull upon your own resources, you really can take care of yourself!

Good Morning America, How are Ya?

Okay, today is Thursday. It is 6:30AM, Mountain time. I am heading out of Albuquerque, New Mexico. General impressions.... I don't really like New Mexico. Just not digging it. Today I will journey farther out into the desert. Two thoughts this morning... One: each time I step into my White Knight, I hear "Dun-da-da-daaa, off we go my lady!" I know, I know.... but that's what I hear. And two: I have a song in my head this morning, it just keeps looping through my mind....

Good Morning America, how are ya?
Don't ya know me? I'm your native son.
Born in the City of New Orleans,
I'll be gone five hundred miles before the day is done.

For the record, I was born in New Orleans. I'm am excited about today. I'm heading for a field trip to Walnut Canyon, just East of Flagstaff, Arizona. I'm going to explore how Native Americans lived in a canyon, set-up like townhomes, almost eight hundred years ago! Then I'll stay in Flagstaff tonight. Today will be an enjoyable, slower moving day. Then tomorrow, I'm on to L.A.!

It feels a little bit strange, for the first time in my life, to be driving away from the sun; almost counter intuitive. The sun is rising up behind me. But it occurs to me, that the Earth is a circle, there is no one beginning point. It just happens that I've always been in the East and now I am shaking it up like a snow globe. Revitalizing my soul. Change is good. Keeps you sharp, on your feet, and keeps you alive!

Last night as I lay down to sleep, for the first time, I could sense the presence of my future husband. I had a sense of him spooning me and holding me. At first it was a bit disconcerting. I've been solo for a while now. But I gently reaffirmed to myself that he is coming and this is what I have been asking for. I could then also, ever so slightly perceive myself with the children that will be mine one day. I could feel it and I could see it. I am so excited about my future.

Okay, so I still do not know where I am going to live once I reach L.A. tomorrow. Last night I tried looking on Craig's List again, for apartments/sub-lets/shared rentals. But as soon as I initiated my searches, I got that clenching feeling in the center of my chest and my body told me, "Don't even pursue this avenue, this isn't the path" because it started to make me feel bad. So with that said, I've had another alternate vision (from the cottage I'm dreaming of). I don't know exactly where I'm going to live in Santa Monica. I don't know if I'm going to be moving directly into the little cottage that I've been envisioning in my mind for over a year now. Or if I'm going to be house-sitting in a fantastic house. I carry with me the image of Kate Winslet in the movie The Holiday, when she house swaps with Cameron Diaz, and gets to the house in L.A. The house is unbelievably fantastic and Kate Winslet is jumping up and down with joy. Well, I have this vision of myself doing the same thing, I'm so excited I'm bursting out of my body, sending off sparks because I'm so happy and excited. I'm saying "This is perfect" and "I can't believe my luck!" I don't know how I manifested it, but then the "how" is never our job. My job is to know what I want, to visualize it, see it, feel it. And it will come. And so, I feel pretty excited about it.

I'm just West of Albuquerque, the temperature has already gone from 45 degrees to 28. The desert is beautiful. Ahead of me, there is one straight cloud line, streaming down from the heavens, straight down from the sky! And it's pointing towards California. I know it's for me... "Go this way, Melanie." Oooh, and I just blew by a billboard that was talking directly to me!

For the first time on this entire journey, I've lost my cell phone reception. And I'm not frightened. I'm incredibly excited. My body is vibrating. I know I am on the right path.

Three Days on the Road~ I am Half-way Across America

6:00AM, Central time. Departing Oklahoma. I had no idea Oklahoma had such incredible sunsets and sunrises! The skies here just go on forever and it really is quite breathtaking.

Passing through the very top sliver of Texas. Woo-whee! Just passed the "Country's Largest Cross"... where else, but Texas?!

I've reached New Mexico and the desert. I love the desert and this in-between land. It's what makes this a true journey; a cleansing, if you will. To have embarked from a more verdant land and be passing through the desert, to then drive on to the Pacific Ocean is exciting. And wait!  Yes, it is!  I've just seen my first tumbleweed for the day.

12:00PM, I'm an hour East of Santa Rosa, New Mexico. It's only 77 degrees, but my tire indicator light has just come on. Eek, this frightens me a bit. I'm visualizing myself at a gas station adding air to me tires before any thing negative can happen. Driving long stretches in the desert makes me hyper vigilant. I always make sure I have a full tank of gas, food and water. Thankfully, I see there is a gas station three miles up ahead! The winds are blowing full force and this place is desolate. I check the tire pressure in all four of my tires. Each one registers 44.5 PSI. "Well, as least they're not going flat," I breath out a sigh of relief. Hmm, optimum pressure for warm weather would be 41 PSI. It's not really hot enough for my tires to be expanding that much. This doesn't make any sense to me. "Think like a Girl Scout, or MacGiver, Melanie," I chide myself. "Got it! Call in a lifeline," is my response. I call Andy in the Service Department of BMW of Charlottesville (I've never had such fabulous customer service, by the way!  BMW of Charlottesville is stellar!)  Andy reassures me that it's just a bit warmer, so they've inflated some, but they'll be fine. Whew! It's great to have friends. I feel an instant sense of relief, and gee, I love my White Knight!

I am now landed in Albuquerque, New Mexico and absolutely exhausted! I actually feel a bit dizzy and a slight loss of equilibrium. Can it be I've been in motion so long as to disturb my center of gravity? I am weary and in desperate need of sleep. It is 7:30 PM Central time, but of course, my body does not know it. My body protests and insists that it is much later, believing that it still resides on East Coast time. For now, I rest.

When in Memphis.....

"I'm late! I'm late!" I feel like the white rabbit in Alice & Wonderland. I did not expect to feel this way... it's only 6:20AM, Central time, but the sun is high in the sky. It wasn't high in the sky in Virginia at 6:20! Now I am rushing to get out of my hotel and the sun is rising and I need to go.

Okay, I'm reeeeeeady. Today I drive to Shawnee, Oklahoma to see my cousin, whom I've not seen in twenty years! I am very excited. This will be my long day of driving. The next two days will be more manageable because I'll break them up into five to six hour drives, and spend time in a National Park in Flagstaff, Arizona. But today is a haul.

It is now 7:30 in the morning and I am back on the road. I tried not to be hasty this morning, but I found myself rushing to get out of there, thinking "I'm late, I'm late... I've got to go! I'm late for a date with destiny." How I loathe rushing. So, here I am in the car, I've regained my composure, my chest does not hurt as much today. It feels a bit calmer.

Just now I've passed a car transport truck and saw all of the cars crammed precariously into it. I don't think I'd like that if my White Knight were stuffed into one of those trucks. I'm glad that I'm making the journey myself. I'm part of it. I'm doing the work. I will be transformed once I reach the other side of the continent.

My audio book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho continues to keep me company. Though I read this book seven years ago, I am appreciating it all over again as though for the first time. What a fascinating marvel this thought is:

Every search begins with beginners luck.
And every search ends with the victor being severely tested.

Yes, I did have fantastic beginners luck. In three weeks time, I accomplished purchasing a new vehicle, selling everything I own, sub-letting my apartment for five months, resigning from my positions, acquiring a new client in Santa Monica and getting on the road for my drive across America! And during those three weeks, there were interferences and distractions which sought to lead me off course. But I stayed the course. I stayed focused, I tried my best, I acted with love, and I pushed on through. I believe, I believe, I believe. My faith muscles are strong!

The darkest hour of the night always comes just before the dawn.

Here I am, driving across America and I do not know where I'm driving to. I am driving to Santa Monica, I know my future is there. But once I arrive, I don't know where I'm going to live. That part of this journey has not manifested. I have not been successful in securing a place for myself to live. But I believe there will be a place for me.

When we strive to become better than we are,
everything around us becomes better.

This sentiment says to me, or is a re-affirmation of the rule... When you shine your light, it gives me permission to shine mine; or vice versus. It is a win-win. All is One. What a beautiful illustration of how we buoy one another to success and glory and love.

No project is completed until it's objective has been achieved.

My heart is jumping for joy at this thought. I am moving to California because I have had a vision of my future. I've seen myself in Santa Monica, my business has launched to new heights, I'm with my future husband, our children, and even with the Yorkshire Terrier that will be part of my life. I'll soon meet the man that I'm going to fall in love with and I know that I am going to be a mother. And I know that my Yorkshire Terrier, Maxamillian is going to be mine soon. Don't know where or how Maxamillian is coming to me, but I feel it will be soon. These are my visions. Let's see what happens.

Okay, those are my heady thoughts for the day. More practical matters loom. I need gas and the White Knight desperately needs a car wash. My knight is covered in salt and mud! I'm approaching Memphis and it suddenly occurs to me.... When in Memphis, go to Graceland! I'm going to see Elvis!! Now I ask you, when am I going to have this opportunity again?! I've allllllways wanted to see the Jungle Room. Here I go!

Two hours later (I got lost).... I have seen Graceland! I took my picture with Elvis. I saw the Jungle Room. There's another wish to cross off my "To Do in This Lifetime" list! I like Elvis. And I appreciate his originality and style. Graceland is definitely all his own and quite interesting. I was a bit dashed and disapointed.... they don't allow visitors upstairs into Elvis's private arena. But I can appreciate that. Everyone should have a space that's all their own. So. The Jungle Room and the Billiards Room were my favorite. Completely over the top! The Jungle Room features hand carved, elaborate furniture, a waterfall and green carpeting on the floor as well as the ceiling! Elvis's Billiard Room is so 1970's! But original! He chose to fabric the walls and ceiling. It's really quite interesting. Side note- $10.00 to park in the Graceland lot, $28.00 to tour Graceland! A bit pricey.

As I drove away, I called on my higher self to lead me to a car wash and Bingo! there was a brand new car wash on the way out to the Interstate 40 West. The White Knight shines and rides again! I've been to Knoxville, Nashville, Memphis and Graceland; may I never pass through Tennesse again. Amen.

I've just crossed over the Arkansas state line. The pain in my chest has dissipated. What a relief.

It is now 6:30 PM, Central time. I've entered Oklahoma. Talk about a big sky! It is vast here. The sky just goes on and on. I have been chasing the sun for over an hour. It is a biblical, gorgeous, tremendous sky all around me! An absolutely stunning sunset lies ahead just yonder.

Obstacles & Deterrents... But I Push on Through

It was my intention to be on the road this morning by 5:00 AM. I had visions of leaving town under the veil of night and witnessing the sunrise as I drove out. Alas, the weather had other plans. At 4:00 AM, my alarm did awake me. I arose only to find that it had snowed all night, and was still snowing. Our first snow all Winter! On the day I am to depart?! Thankfully, I have come to a point in which I am wise, versus reckless. And, patient. So, visions of snow and black ice patches on the mountain interstate sent me back to bed. Drat! As each hour passed, I again left my warm bed to go and look outside. Snow continued. I resigned that I would either be leaving late or postponing my departure until the following day. Finally I arose at 7:45 in earnest. For thirty minutes I paced and kept watch over the skies, weighing my choices, asking my higher self to please step in and guide me. "That's it! I'm doing it! I can always turn back if I need to," I said to my friend Karen and headed for the shower. Thank goodness I made that decision. I had forgotten the rule of the unknown variable... the cardinal rule in Virginia is "Wait ten minutes, and the weather will change." By the time I exited from the loo, the sun was beginning to shine and a rapid thaw was on the way. YES! I will not be deterred, I am going back to my future- heading for California. I quickly moved into high gear, and resumed my day's action plan. Knowing it would take at least thirty minutes to defrost my car, I dashed outside to get this process started. Rear car doors were actually frozen shut! Rrrrrr.

So, this morning's events were another chance to remind me of a lesson that I already know, but apparently needed to be reminded... Life has taught me that no matter what the conditions are when you wake up (be they poor weather or poor spirit), be proactive, be positive. Get up, get dressed, be ready for the day. You never know what's going to happen next.

It is 12:00 PM. Successfully, I have navigated my way through the snow and ice. Once again, I am on dry ground. But oh, my white knight! He is covered in muddy ice and salt. I'm struggling to keep my windshield clean. It is 21 degrees, my windshield wipers and windshield fluid are frozen! To pass the time, I am listening to The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It is a beautiful story, reminding me of the law of beginner's luck and that the signs, or omens, are all around us if we would but look.


It is now 3:00 PM, I am traveling I-40 West, just outside of Knoxville, TN. The tightness that I have felt in the center of my chest for the past two weeks has not left me (nerves); I wish that it would. It continues to impede my full expansion of breath. It is as though a fist has reached into my sternum, and is clenching me. I feel strangely emotional. Is it sadness for the life I am leaving behind? For what I am letting go of, in order to embrace what I believe lies ahead for me? Or are these tears of joy because I know that greatness awaits me? Is it because my future is so bright? Is it that anything so brilliant and dazzling can be overwhelming and frightening because the mind cannot even begin to conceive of it? But wait. In this very moment, I am passing a truck that says, "Nautilus, Making America Stronger"! As many of you know, the nautilus is my logo I use on my calling card- the very one I also use on this blog! A sign. An omen! And wait, this truck is based out of "Independence, VA". I was born on the Fourth of July. Independence Day. I have successfully regained my independence. I will take this as a sign of synchronicity. I am buoyed. I have faith, all is well. I know that I am on the right path.

It is now 4:30 PM, Central time and I am about thirty minutes outside of Nashville. My immediate inclination is to want to rush and push on through as fast as I can. But thankfully, the other half of myself remembers, "There is no rush. You are right on time. You should enjoy the journey." And so, I shall. Tonight I stay in Nashville!